About a week ago I received a note from my son's teacher. To be clear, the note was dated Nov 1st but he did not dig it out of his backpack and give it to me until last week. It says that the students are asked to write poems about someone they are thankful for and in return, that person is asked to write a poem about them. And then invites us all to read them. Out loud. In the class room. With all the other kids and parents watching. *gulp*
I like to write, but I have to be self motivated. I'm definitely no poet. I don't even understand poetry most of the time. Plus, I'm not fond of speaking in front of a large crowd. So, give me an assignment like this and I'm likely to choke. When the teacher asked the poems be returned on the 15th, that just wasn't going to happen. Nor the day after or the day after that. My son was being hounded by his teacher to get my poem in... which honestly just brought back all sorts of school-anxieties and I finally had to write a note that I would bring it with me on Monday. The other little caveat: we were not to show each other what we wrote. So, all the while, Karl was apprehensive about what I might write. "What are you going to write? Don't embarrass me. What are you going to write?" This was getting to be a lot of pressure for a simple nice gesture of gratitude!
My son, meanwhile, whips up his little Ode to Mom in bed, the night before his is due. It took him 3 minutes and he was completely satisfied. Was no surprise when teacher asked him to write another stanza (which he didn't).
I finally got to my end of the deal on Sunday night. Yep, pretty much the equivalent to what my son did... obviously I've trained him in the art of procrastination very well. Next morning, the day of the reading, both he and I sweated it out, but for different reasons: me because of my stage fright and insecurities in poetry writing and he because he thought I wrote something that would leave him writhing in embarrassment publicly. He tried with all his might to entice me to show him... as if that would gain him WHAT exactly... but I didn't. And when I came into the classroom (the first parent present, at that!) All the kids looked happy to see me except for my son who was channelling the aloofness of
Jordan Catalano.
Eventually the room filled with parents and the anticipation grew. Some kids looked pale with nervousness, others were beaming with excitement, others completely silly (as 5th graders tend to be). Parents and children started to present their poems. Tears ensued. Lots of tissues were passed. Some boys were even more weepy than the girls, which just made everyone cry even more.
And then we went. And my son clamored over the girls to get our poems from the teacher exhibiting all the nervousness I was feeling inside. And then he read- bless him, he hasn't an ounce of stage fright. And I listened. And it was sweet. Just what Karl would write. And then I read. And he smiled. And looked very relieved. And we paused looking at each other before we hugged - a moment of communication that said "we did it and it was OK" .
We took our seats and he went back into Jordan Catalano mode while I took the first deep breath of my day. It was fine. Everything turned out OK. Better than OK really, because now that I was rational, I could appreciate the poems we wrote to each other. Then I had a pang of regret that I could not handle this better. That I let "me" get in my way of enjoying the simple pleasure of doing something nice. By making a bigger deal about something in my head, I was filled with all the emotions that were quite inappropriate to the assignment itself. That in many ways the spontaneous nature of the children at our feet were more in tune with the spirit of the project and I envied them.
The day ended with snacks and chatting among the parents- to find that similar situations as ours were happening on many home fronts. And that now it was behind us we could see the beauty in the moment. I think we all felt a little like we were taught something important that day.
Mom
Loving and kind
Happy and helpful
What would I
do without her
The greatest mom ever
caring for me
I love you Mom.
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
When you were born
it was quite eventful.
My world made sunny.
Happiness plentiful.
Your smile warming.
Your nature calming.
Your personality charming.
Always caring.
Always sharing.
A perfect pairing.
How fortunate
that you are my son.
Life is rich with you
my First Little One.
I'm actually thankful to Mrs. H for the project.
I am thankful for the experience to break out of my comfort zone.
I'm thankful for the education to not let trepidation hamper my ability to enjoy the moments leading up to the experience itself and to live more in the moment itself.
I'm thankful for the reminder that I need to instill this in my children as well.
I'm thankful for all the other parents who were there and supportive and enthusiastic and for being good role models.
Thankful for the children who love their parents dearly and could so easily put it into words.
And thankful for my son who is just so much like me at times it reminds me what an amazing thing it is to be a parent. Especially to a good kid like Karl.
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| Thankful for my everything. |
I wish a Happy Thanksgiving to all my family, friends and readers. May your day be warm and fulfilling. xo
